Gradutation, A chapter closed, and Strange feelings about Growing up.
I was so entirely unprepared for the unrelenting wave of grief that would come with graduating.
I didn't care about High School. I actively wanted to get High School over with. I didn't care.
I didn't care
Why didn't I care??
Why did I let myself get buried in dual course work? Why did I wait until senior year to join clubs? Why didn't I make an effort to get to know anyone?
Of course it was because I wanted to get more college credits, because I didn't have the time until then, because I went to an online school and really how close could I have gotten to anyone??
I have been battling this profound sense of grief. This loneliness. This sense of unease.
But at the same time, I want to move on. I want to grow. I want to experience new things.
The box I am in is far too small but it has been my home for too long to just abandon. There are people that I have never gotten to know that I will never get to. I've left a place, an experience, that I will never get to have again. I don't want to go back. I miss it with my whole heart.
Last Updated: 6/22/2025